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C1 Advanced: Writing Part 1 Formal Essay

Tim Warre
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Image credit: Cambridge Assessment English

This is yet another designed to help students prepare for part one of the C1 Cambridge Advanced (CAE) writing exam. Some of the content has been rehashed from old posts but the approach is slightly different. Download the student handout below:

advanced-writing-part-1-newDownload

Give out the handout and draw students’ attention to the task on page one and the first version at the bottom of the page. Have them read the task, then the model answer, then answer questions 1-3 with their partner:

  1. Which of the three areas (convenience, cost & enjoyment) does the writer focus on? cost and convenience
  2. Which one do they decide has the biggest impact on where people choose to shop? cost
  3. Give the essay a score out of 5 for:
    • Content (have they answered the question?) 4.5 – 5 – yes, question is fully answered
    • Range of language 2.5 – reads more like a B2 First essay
    • Appropriate style (formal/informal) 1.5 – too informal, not the right style: contractions, words like “stuff”, too personal (too much “I” and “we”), “first let’s look at”

Now have students look at question 4. If you’re pressed for time, you could skip this part. Have students brainstorm more formal and advanced ways of expressing the parts in bold in pairs or groups. Perhaps you could assign one paragraph to each group and have them report back in open class. Board their ideas.

Now have students flip the paper over. Version 2 essential expresses the same ideas but with more advanced language and a more appropriate register. Direct students to find the “fancy” equivalents of the underlined phrases from version 1 in version 2.

Set students the homework task by first encouraging them to discuss the topic:

Factors when deciding where to go on holiday:

Encourage them to use the language from version 2 and the language on pages 2 and 3 in their compositions.

Version 1

Read version 1 and answer the questions:

  1. Which of the three areas (convenience, cost & enjoyment) does the writer focus on?
  2. Which one do they decide has the biggest impact on where people choose to shop?
  3. Give the essay a score out of 5 for:
    • Content (have they answered the question?)
    • Range of language
    • Appropriate style (formal/informal)
  4. Look at the sections in bold, how could you express the same ideas in a more impressive/formal way?

We’re always hearing in the news about how more and more people are buying things on the internet. It’s a big problem that fewer people are going shopping in physical shops nowadays. But, what makes people decide where to shop?

First, let’s look at convenience. It’s true that shopping online is much easier than shopping in physical shops. You can buy stuff on your computer and you can sit on your sofa, you don’t need to leave your house. Also, the stuff gets sent to your house. When you go to the physical shop you have to take it home yourself.

Now I’ll talk about cost. Some people think that cost is the most important thing people think about when they decide where to shop. For example, when the sales are on people buy things in shops they don’t normally go to. But some people don’t care about the price. It doesn’t matter if it’s expensive or not.

In conclusion, looking at the facts, I think that cost is the most important thing for most people because if you don’t have enough money, you can’t buy it.

Version 2

Find and underline the ways that the same ideas are expressed in this version.

Hardly a week goes by without another news report about the recent dramatic increase in online shopping. The decline of the high street shop is undoubtedly a major issue in this day and age. However, which aspect of shopping has the biggest influence on where people shop?

The first area to take into account is convenience. It is undoubtedly the case that shopping online is much more convenient than shopping on the high street. Not only can you make a purchase with the click of a button, but also you can do it from the comfort of your sofa without setting foot outside your door.  In addition, the goods are delivered directly to your door whereas when you shop in physical shops you have to carry it home yourself.

Another aspect to consider is cost. There are those who argue that cost has the biggest impact on where people decide to shop. This is illustrated by the fact that during the sales many people buy things in shops they would not normally enter. Nevertheless, for some people the cost is not an issue, they buy what they want to buy no matter the price.

In light of the above, weighing up all the evidence, it is probably true to say that cost does indeed have the biggest influence on where people decide to shop due to the fact that most of the time, if you cannot afford something then you will not be able to buy it.

(247 words)

Homework Task

Your class has had a class debate on the most important factors when it comes to deciding on a holiday destination.

Factors when deciding where to go on holiday:

Some opinions expressed in the debate:

Write an essay for your tutor, discussing two of the factors in your notes. You should explain which factor is the most important for most people, giving reasons to support your argument.

You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the debate but you should use your own words as far as possible. Write your essay in 220-260 words in an appropriate style.

Language for introductions

Language for topic sentences

Second Paragraph

Third Paragraph

Language for supporting ideas

Language for introducing supporting ideas:

Paragraph Skeleton

It goes without saying that …………………………………………………………………… A clear example of this is ………………………………………………………. In addition, ……………………………………………………………………. Nevertheless, …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Overall/in summary ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Language for conclusions:

OR

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